Christopher's Journey

Stay Tuned

2006-03-31T13:21:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm suprised to see that people still drop in here. In that case, I'll do a MAJOR update.

But not yet. I dont have time. But it's coming. I promise.

Till then...

Does Anyone Still Look at This?

2006-03-19T22:14:00.000-05:00

Just wondering. I don't want to keep updating if there's no one watching. But boy, do we have sooooooo much to say. Drop a line if you're watching Thanks alot.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Kid

2005-12-07T09:35:00.000-05:00

Well, it's finally upon us. The holiday season. We had managed to get the bulk of our shopping finished before we left but of course there's always something more to go out and get. I swear, our family motto is "Let's just run into Wal-Mart for a minute". But waddya gonna do? Tis the season and all that.

Christopher is doing great! He's already spoiled rotten by the extended family and I think every little old lady in the mall at any given time manages to find him and google over how cute he is. I think little old ladies have some sort of chubby-cheek radar system built in. It's weird. But he's doing great, as I said. He's adjusted really well with everyone of our friends and family members and simply LOVES to play with the other kids. Fortunately we have several kids in the family around his age (some a couple of years older) so there's no shortage of playmates. He has a little bit of an issue with sharing but that's coming along slowly. I think having posessions is so new and wonderful to him that he isn't quite ready to relinquish that which he has discovered to be his very own. That's understandable, I think, but he's learning.

He's also coming along very quickly with English. I'd say he's up o about 50 words now - of course they aren't "words" per se but they are his version so that's close enough for now. Today he said 'Milk please', which I believe is the first time he's contextualised a sentence. That's very exciting. He's also warmed up to the cats, thank goodness. In fact, he's warmed up so much that they have to vamoose every time he catches a glimpse of them. In the course of about two weeks he's gone from mortal terror to gleeful delight upon the sight of our four-footed felines. This is a good thing because we are also cat-sitting for my parents while they winter in the Bahamas (must be nice to be retired). He even met my dog-in-law (this is Stacy's sister's dog, Buster) and although he wasn't prepared to frolic with Buster (he's a hundred pound chocolate lab) he did show signs of trust. Under the support of an adult (me or Uncle Joe, Buster's 'dad') he would slowly reach out and touch Buster and pet his fur. However, if Buster offered so much as a glance in Christopher's direction it was game-over. But it's a start. This is how things began with the cats and look at him now. Well, you can't look at him, but you can take my word for it. He's doing OK with them.

Other than that, nothing has really changed here. He's just a neat kid who is just bubbling over with personality and will be a glorious presence this Christmas. If I get nothing else, I don't care. We have a family this Christmas and I have dreams of reading Night Before Christmas in front of the fireplace and sipping hot chocolate as we wait for Santa to arrive. I don't know if he'll manage to sit that long or even understand what we're doing, but still . . . I've been waiting my whole life for this Christma Eve. I can't wait. The house is decked with boughs of holly (not you, Holly - the pointy green kind) and the lights are all aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas at our house. Now all we need is some snow.

Also, I have my first official book-signing this Saturday, Dec. 10. at the local mall. This is very exciting to me. I don't know if I'll sell any, but still, it's pretty cool.

Well, that's about all I have to say for now. All in all, life is good. So have a very Merry Christmas and may all your dreams of parenthood be fulfilled. God bless, everyone. Have a safe and joyous holiday.

Home at last

2005-11-22T05:45:00.000-05:00

Well, as the title of this blog suggests, we are finally home. We left Kiev at 4:10 pm Kiev time, though our flight was delayed by about half an hour. We finally left the tarmac and arrived in Hungary with about twenty minutes do get off the plane, get to the other gate and board. When we got to the line, a woman called out for any passengers to Toronto and we were lead to the front of the line, where we had to wait while they processed our Visa information. Finally we were on the plane and off to Toronto - to home.

The flight itself was pretty uneventful, which I think is a good thing. A boring flight is a successful flight in my humble opinion. Christopher made it through like a trooper. We had a seat between Stacy and I which we padded with our jackets and the airline issued blankets, however most of the time he spent on one of our laps. He did sleep but I'd say only for a total of about two hours. Even with only that little bit of rest, however, he fussed very little and spent the majority of the flight just looking around, giggling and playing with us. And I think just about every little old lady on the flight came by to pinch his cheeks. We even got to watch an episode of The Simpsons on the tv monitor but it wasn't a very good one. And a nine o'clock screening of Baman Begins might have been appreciated but we were stuck with Fantastic Four, a far less quality film. But perhaps I'm geting off topic.

When we got off the plane and through customs we had to go to immigration. We were there for almost an hour and as we were so eager to see our family it seemed more like three hours. But we finally made it through and I went to get the luggage while Stacy finished off a little bit of paperwork. Finally we could go through the doors and begin our life.

We were met at the airport by just about everyone we knew. Friends and family greeted us and tears streamed like ever flowing rivers as Christopher was finally introduced to his new family and his new life. What an amazing moment. Again, Christopher just took everything in stride. He didn't cry or fuss as everyone coddled him and kissed him and welcomed him home. I can't even really describe the feelings or paint an accurate picture of the moment. If you were there then you know what it was like but if not, the only thing I can say is it was a moment of pure, unbridled joy.

We finally left the airport and made the trip to Hamilton, which is about 45 minutes away. I always said that the adventure wasn't going to be over until we pulled up in front of the house, though when I said it it seemed as though that moment may never come. But finally it did and what a feeling of relief, pride and finality. A bunch of family came back to the house and we had some pizza and visited with each other, doing our best to catch up on two months of being apart. It will probably take another two months just to tell all our stories and recount our adventures to everyone, but that's OK by me. By the time everyone went home and we could finally settle down in our own home - and our own bed - it was about 7 am Kiev time. This meant that we had been awake for twenty three and a half hours. Christopher had been awake for twenty one and a half (we got up at 7:30 the day we left). Boy were we pooped.

My Mom stayed for a couple of days to have some time with Christopher and it was absolutely wonderful. They bonded very quickly and it was no time before he was reaching for her to be picked up and cuddled, which I'm sure made Mom feel like a million bucks. He has also met about a dozen new people and has had no trouble getting along with any of them. He's a little shy yet but he's already playing well with the other kids and learning people's names and can identify many of them. It's absolutely incredible.

Our only major issue we have had to deal with so far is with the animals. We have 2 dogs and 3 cats and had decided that the dogs shouldn't be home when we get there, allowing Christopher some time to adjust before we introduced them. Milo was at Gramma Di's but Abby ended up at home. Long story short, Christopher was absolutely TERRIFIED of her. He is also very scared of the cats and we are working little by little to get him to feel comfortable with them but it's going to take some time. The dog is another story, however. The cats are pretty meek and will run away when confronted but Abby and Milo are a different story. They are the same size as Christopher, very hyper and playful and will take every opportunity to frolic, even if the frolicer doesn't actually want to frolic. (that's a lot of frolics, eh?) So, as it stands, Milo will live with Gramma Di from now on and we currently have Abby in a kennel until we can figure out what to do with her. It's absolutely heartbreaking to know we have to find a home for her and keep her in jail until we do but there's nothing else we can do at this point. The homecoming is probably more stressful than it seems for Christopher and he's so scared of the cats that to reintroduce the dog would be a major error. So - and I am altogether serious when I say this - if anyone would like or knows someone who would like to adopt Abby, please let us know. We have to find a home for her VERY SOON. It breaks our heart to get rid of her but it also breaks our heart to have to imprison her in the meantime. So please, ask around or open your heart to a sweet little pup who will love unconditionally and be a wonderful companion.

Anyway, Christopher has also slept in his own bed two nights in a row now without incident. What a relief, since the first two nights ended up with Dad on the couch so Mom and Christopher could have enough room.

So, as hard as it is to believe, the journey is over. The first part of it, anyway. We have a whole new adventure to embark upon now, but at least we're home, safe and sound, surrounded by familiarity and loved ones. So once again we thank you all for everything. We'll keep this blog going for a little while longer, I think, as Christopher makes progress we'll keep you all posted. In the meantime take care and thanks again.

What a grand adventure!

Family Business

2005-11-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

Well, here it is, November 16th and only two days left to go before the flight home. YAYYYYYYY!!!!!! While Kiev is a very nice city, home is nicer. I never thought the day would come when we would yearn for a smog-choked, grey, industry-lined water edged city, but here it is. It sure has been in incredible journey that we all have been on. We came for a Cassie, are returning with a Christopher, have met incredibly wonderful people during this trip and have had the good fortune of becoming friends with several of them. The odd (perhaps necessary) thing about all of these couples is that almost all of them have been Christian. I hadn't put much thought to it when we left but looking back now, I think it's not all that incredible that the adoptive parents that come here are people of faith. For all the stress, worry, fears, disappointments and ultimate rewards, I think that the faith and knowledge that there is Someone else on this journey with all of us is paramount. As I said before, a thing like this can make or break a relationship. Relationships in faith and also in marriage. If the love you have for your partner isn't strong, this could easily be a very damaging experience. Not just through the stress and aggravation of everything we have to go through, but also being cooped up together in small apartment, tiny hotel rooms - all of which have questionable levels of hospitability (is that a word?). It's not uncommon to lose water (hot, cold or otherwise), there's not much TV to use as a distraction, there are no Wal-Marts or shopping centers to go to to kill the time . . . all you have is each other. Even sitting down to read a book is pretty much out of the question once the little one enters the picture full time. So we find ourselves forced to test our strengths on so many levels. It's not easy and as I said, I'd bet there are those who can't do it. Fortunately, we are not among those who's relationships suffered. Stacy says "Speak for yourself" but she's only kidding. I think.

We would like to offer a couple of birthday wishes as well while we are over here. Unfortunately we can't offer them in person - not for a couple of days. First off, Christopher, Stacy and myself would like to say Happy Birthday to a little girl by the name of ... well, she doesn't have a name yet. She was just born today and this is her very first birthday EVER. Stacy's sister, Marissa, just gave birth to a healthy baby girl. What a Christmas this will be. So many kids, we'll have to cut out presents just for the sake of space. Also, we would like to give a great big Happy Birthday wish to Gramma Gail. She's this many years old (I'm holding my fingers out, you'll have to ask her if you want to know for sure). Christopher sent her an e-mail this morning that said 'URGENT MESSAGE!!!!' but was really a happy birthday wish. Apparently it scared Gramma Gail half way to smithereens but it worked. She got the message.

So as we begin to pack up our belongings, store the few keepsakes we picked up, bundle the clothes and put the cap on the toothpaste, we just want to say thank you one last time for all the love and support everyone has shown and given us over the past two months. We simply can't wait to get home and share the joy of Christopher that the love and support has brought to all of us. We truly are blessed to have him. It's hard to believe it's over folks, but the end is now in sight. I'm not sure if we'll post another blog before we leave, so if not, we'll see you all really soon. I think we may have to rent the terminal in Toronto for a private engagement for our return as there seems to be a large number of people prepared to greet us. The more the merrier, I always say. Actually, I don't say that very often. But I'm thinking of starting to say it more often. The more the merrier. See?

See you all really soon. Thanks again and our love goes out to each and every one of you.

Mostly Just Pictures

2005-11-14T01:25:00.000-05:00

Well, my last post was an experiment that I think was profoundly successful. I wrote down a bunch of silliness and nonsense to see if anyone was actually reading these posts or if they just wanted to see pictures of Christopher. No one even commented on the silly post. So, my point is proven. Suddenly it's all about Christopher. I mean, holy sheesh. Fly half way around the world, pick out THE cutest little kid in all of Ukraine, go through heck to get back home and suddenly it's all about him. I certainly hope this isn't going to be an ongoing trend.

I jok, of course. All the real scary stuff is behind us and all we have to do now is wait to come home. It's a great bonding time for us all and it's going really well. Yesterday Christopher gave us our first 'real' kisses. Up until now he's been just sorta standing there while we kissed him. Bt yesterday he pursed his lips and leaned into us for a real kiss. I have to say, it was perhaps one of the single greatest highlights of the trip so far.

He's also a pretty happy guy in the morning, as long as he wakes up on his own accord. If we wake him up, he's a grizzly bear. But otherwise he's a silly goose, likes to be tickled on the knees and he's taken to petting me on my furry chest and belly. I introduced him to my bellybutton this morning but he was all that impressed. He stuck his finger in there then decided perhaps it was a place best left undiscovered. Can't say I blame him, really.

Anyway, today we'll venture outside again, maybe try McDonald's once more. Wrste case scenario; I get a Big Mac.

Well, that's all for now. Enjoy the pics. Only four more sleeps.

Three Pictures and Some other Stuff

2005-11-12T07:02:00.000-05:00

What a great day we're having today. We went on a nice long walk and had a great lunch in a little Irish pub. Mmmmm. Good stuff. Christopher was pretty good for the most part but he wouldn't eat anything but bread and apple juice. And he put up a pretty big fuss when we tried to put him back into the stroller. He's a pretty emotional little guy, this one. Overall lunch was good though, but unfortunately my elbows kept slipping off the table and landing in the pudding. *sigh* My life can be insufferable sometimes.

It occurs to me that the state of Al Gore's pencil shavings are deplorable. I've seen a special on TV recently and I was astounded. Of course, it was in Swahili so maybe it was about yellow bugs with long, icky feelers. Hard to say for sure. The good thing, though, is that book binding is making a huge comeback so maybe the old playwrites will have reason to start baking muffins again.

I always wondered what colout the number four is. Some say it's hunter green but I think it's actually more of a seafoam colour. I guess it's different in Ukraine but still, the clowns seem to like it. The mimes are too drunk to care though, which is unfortunate. Wanna know something strange though? Yesterday I stepped on a drunk mime's foot (he was lying in the gutter) and he started to yell at me. But I didn't hear him. His sister, the bus driver, came up to me later and asked for a polite apology, which I gladly gave. I'm no monster, after all. Not like Frankenstein or perhaps the Wolfman. Have you ever seen the Wolfman before? I have. He's pretty weird looking. Kind of like the guy from Highway to Heaven that isn't Michael Landon.

Well, I guess that's about it for now. I'm off to peel my knees and wash the paint out of my eyelashes. In the meantime, here's some pictures of Christopher to enjoy. See you all soon.

A few firsts

2005-11-11T16:07:00.000-05:00

Well, it was truly a day of firsts.

Today we went to the Malev office to get our return tickets (this time next week we'll almost be home). I went yesterday and of course they had computer trouble. So they said. It was also quarter to six - closing time - and I'm not sure they wanted to do anything that late in the day. They told me to return tomorrow (today) aftr 10 am. So, we walked down to the office, which is about a 20 minute walk. We brought our passports as well as Christopher's passport - everything we thought we'd need. We get there and they have no trouble printing off Christopher's ticket. They told us the night before that his name was too long to fit on the ticket and assured us an abbreviated name was acceptable. Hope so cuz that's what we have. But there was no problem printing it off. This supports my "no work this close to quittin' time" theory. However, I also needed to get mine and Stacy's tickets for our return trip, which has changed since the original October 19th date. Of course, they actually need the tickets we have, as they don't simply reissue tickets. Anyone tell us that? Nope. So now I have to go back on Monday with our tickets and they put stickers on them for us. So this was not my first trip to Malev but my first of two more trips that I'll have to take.

We also had our first experience with bubbles, which were a HUGE hit. He absolutely LOVED them!!! He chased them and giggled and clapped and jumped. He even managed to blow a few bubbles which was pretty cool. He throught they were great. I can't wait to do it again. I had as much fun as he did, I think.

But the big first today was that we saw our first snowfall of winter 2005. It has been wet and chilly for a few days, mostly rainy, and when we walked to Malev it was drizzling ever so lightly. But then we got back to the apartment and waited for our driver to come to take us to the grocery store. By the time we left the store it was snowing. Just wet snow and it didn;t last but it was kinda nice. Christopher coudn't have cared less but he was pretty tired and ready for his nap.

So there ya have it. As it stands we're ready to go. Every appropriate paper has been signed, duplicated, translated, conjugated . . . all the ateds. All we have left to do is come home. Finally. So here's a few more pics for your viewing pleasure. See you all soon.

2005-11-10T13:13:00.000-05:00

Well, we're in an apartment in Kiev again and thus we have at-home internet service. However it's still dial-up and therefore really sllllooowwwwwwwwwwww. I've put a few pictures for your enjoyment though. I think we have a first visit to McDonald's which resulted in . . . the only kid in the world who doesn't like McDonald's food. There's also a photo of us with Max, our facilitator in Kramatorsk. He was a great guy and we were really fortunate to have had him.

Anyway, all is well here. Christopher's a little ball of wacky electricity and bounces off the walls, but he's a happy little fellow so how can we complain. He's not too keen on having his clothes taken off or his bum changed and tonight we're to attempt a first bath. Good luck to us!

Well, we're still coming home on the 18th. Just one week. Seven more sleeps. YAY!!! Can't wait to see you all. Till then . . .

And baby makes three . . .

2005-11-08T12:19:00.000-05:00

Well, it is now officially . . . official. Stacy and I are parents. Today we went on our paper chase and secured all the documents that we needed to finalise our court decree and Christopher is now ours full time. As I write this, Stacy and he are up in the room awaiting the time we are to leave for our overnight train ride to Kiev. There we will finish our immigration paperwork and then just wait till we come home. It's as good as over, folks. Thank you all and thank God for all He has done for us. All three of us.

When we started this journey we had no idea what we were getting into. We thought we did, of course, but we were pretty much wrong on every single point. But over the past seven weeks we have made some amazing discoveries about ourselves. I can only speak for myself here, really, but I have to say that aside from discovering the absolute unfathomable joy of becoming a first-time father, I have discovered that my love for Stacy runs deeper and more profoundly than I ever thought possible. This process is a scary, stressful and potentially damaging one. But through it all we managed to stick together. We've hardly had any reason to disagree and our relationship has become stronger than ever. Similarly, I have discovered a spiritual side of myself that I was longing to find for quite some time. As I said in a previous posting, my thread is snapping like crazy. I'm not there yet, but my journey to God has taken leaps and bounds forward thanks to this trip, our experiences in Kiev and Kramatorsk and of course, Christopher. God works in wonderful, mysterious ways and the greatest lesson I have learned (and I think this probably goes for Stacy as well), is that God is in complete and total control. Our lot is not to try to guide our own paths but to let the Light shine through so we can see where He is leading us. Some of you who are reading this may think I'm being a little overzealous or perhaps that this is not the Ken they knew. You're right. It's not. Our entire reason and passion for existing has changed for the better despite the stress, the worries, the fears, the tears and the doubts Stacy and I have felt over the past months. But to look back now everything is perfectly clear. God truly is wonderful.

Anyway, enough with the mushy stuff. I just can't believe we are finally a family. We have so much to teach him. So much to show him. So many ways to guide him. And to be honest, we have no doubt that we have so much to learn ourselves. But love of family, love of God and love of each other is all it will take. We'll stumble. We'll fall. We may even have to lean on a lot of you from time to time. But we'll persevere. So once again we thank you all for everything. The love and support will never be forgotten. We'll see you soon. We love you all. All three of us. God bless.

And so it goes . . .

2005-11-07T08:53:00.000-05:00

OK, we finally have something of interest to say for a new update. We've been "Uked" once again. But only slightly. Today we were supposed to go to Donietsk to gather the paperwork for Christopher's birth certificate and passport. We were going to spend the day abroad, getting things accomplished, come home tonight and finally bring the lad out of the orphanage for good either tonight or tomorrow morning. Sounds like a simple plan, right? WRONG!!

The ten day wait was supposed to expire today, according to the judge's ruling. However, when the official documentation was drawn up for it, they said today was the tenth day and Christopher can't be removed until tomorrow. This is really not a great big deal except that we had planned on making today the big busy day and have tomorrow to leisurely pack, get Christopher and get him ready then take the overnight train back to Kiev. Now, we will have to do all our running around on Tuesday, HOPE that everything runs smoothly to get the paperwork done in Donietsk (which is an hour away from here), get back, get Christopher, pack, get to the train station for the 8:30 overnight train. All in all, a very hectic day. And that's even assuming there are no snafus tomorrow during the paper chase. And as we all know, one cannot count on a snafu-free day here in Ukraine when dealing with all the burocracy. *sigh* And of course we don't anticipate that the train ride will be painless, especially for Christopher. We will essentially yank him from his home, drag him to the train and send him on a mind-bending adventure that will no doubt be absolutely terrifying for him (and exhausting for us). But, waddya gonna do?

Also, we had really, REALLY hoped to have a Big Mac for lunch today. Donietsk has a McDonald's and while at home we tend to steer away from the Golden Arches, here it's a welcome change to the odd and varying menu choices we've been forced to put up with so far. Hopefully we'll have time to stop tomorrow. I can't take too many more choices like "Meat Plate from Hen". I just want a hamburger, darn it!!

Anyway, that's the big news. Another delay. I know in the end it will all work out but it really does make tomorrow a very busy, very frustrating and very tiresom day that we may not even get a change to recouperate from, depending on how Christopher takes to his new surroundings. Wish us luck and a prayer or two could never hurt.

So, off we go, yet again, to the orphanage. Though it will probably be the last trip before we actually pick him up. That's good. And a little sad. We had a little going-away party with Christopher and his friends in his groupa and they sure did have fun playing together. They're a lively bunch of kids considering their circumstances and I'm sure it won't be an easy adjustment over the next week and a half before we drag him on a plane and through three airports into an entirely new life. But we'll manage. We're putting our faith in God that He'll keep us safe and give us the strength to endure. In the meantime, all we can do is forge ahead. So we'll see you all very soon. Lots of love and hope all is well in Hamilton and abroad.

By Popular Demand

2005-11-06T09:07:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems that there is a widely held belief that The Journey has been somewhat lacking over the past few days. We've received several e-mails asking for an update. So here goes:

Not much is really new here, so therefore there haven't been many reasons to post here. However I suppose we can bring things up to date as well as we can.

Christopher is doing great. He a bright, funny little guy with oodles of personality now that he's coming out of his shell. He also seems to have a stubborn streak that must obviously come from Stacy's side of the family becasue we Turners are anything but stubborn ;)

Tomorrow we go on a paper chase to secure all the documents for his Visa and passport. We took his passport photos the other day and he was less than impressed. He's not one for disruptions in his routine and we totally disrupted pretty much everything - bundled him up for outside, took him on a car ride and plunked him in front of a giant camera. It took three trys before we got a picture with a regular look on his face, though the photographer had to digitally removed the tears streaming down his cheeks and also a little scratch he somehow managed to get. So now we have to secure these documents so he cvan officially be ours. If all gets done in a timely fashion tomorrow (Monday) then we can take him out of the orphanage that night. However it's more likely we'll take him out on Tuesday afternoon. Then, Tuesday night we leave on the overnight train to Kiev where we finalise his passprt and immigration paperwork. That's another day or two of running around. At that point, however, we will be finished with every technical detail and be a family once and for all. All that's left then is to wait until it's time to fly home.

There's not much else to tell right now, really. It's pretty much the same ol' same ol'. I tried to post more photos here but everything is in Russian on this computer outside of Hotmail or this blogger so I can't read the instructions to figure out what I'm doing wrong. Therefore I will send some photos via e-mail to hold everyone over until we get home.

The days here are getting shorter, it's dark by about 4:30 or so and we're pretty tired. Neither of us has had a decent night sleep since we got here and it's starting to catch up with us both. But we've made some great friends and Max, our facilitator, has been worth his weight in gold and we're lucky to have had him. So as I sit here in the internet cafe, looking out the window at a darkening, already grim and dismal street, I imagine what it will be like to get back home, snuggle up in front of the fireplace and be able to say "Ahhhhh. Home at last" while we doze in peaceful family slumber. Although it will probably be more like being back home, chasing Christopher as he grabs the cat and whips him into the fireplace and saying "Milo! Get down!". Either way, at least we'll be home. We just can't wait. Hope all is well in Ontario and abroad. Take care and we'll see you all really soon.

Ze plane!! Ze plane!!

2005-11-01T04:52:00.000-05:00

Well, as hard as it is to believe, the end truly is in sight. On this journey we thought we had been abandoned. We thought we were to be mugged. We thought we were not going to become parents. We saw sick kids and not so sick kids. We met some wonderful people who made our stay here tolerable. We got nothing but love and support from those of you back home who are anxious to see us finally come home.

What we believe was our last hurdle was cleared today as well. The doctor from Kiev arrived late last night and we went to the orphanage today to go over Christopher's medical files and so she could examine him. They went through the files very thoroughly, with the main concern being that of seizures and potential epilepsy. The doctor then took us to the play room where she watched us intereact and then interected with Christopher by herself. He was a little unresponsive at first but seemed to open up fairly quickly. However, Christopher is very particular about his routine being intereupted and changed and this is what happened. First of all, the clothes they provide don't always fit. Today he wore a sweater that didn't go over his head very well - the hole was too small. It took them a bit to wrestle him out of it and she conducted a physical examination on him. He was none too impressed by this and the moment she set him back onto the floor, he ran to the middle of the room, plopped himself down and started bobbing his head forward until it almost touched the floor. Then he lay down and started to roll his head back and forth, face down, on the carpet. Stacy and I were stunned and confused as to what this was - was it his seizures? Was it a fit? A tantrum? Stacy tried to calm him to no avail but the doctor didn't seem very concerned. Finally she told Stacy to let him be, which she did. The doctor then started to play some of the noisy toys to distract him, which eventually worked. We had seen this once before, briefly, a few days ago. So, the question obviously was "What is that?". It turns out it's not a seizure. It's a very basic temper tantrum. He is fully aware of his surroundings, has no loss of bodily function such as urination, excessive salivating or shortness of breath. Things just aren't going his way and it's his way to automatically draw focus directly upon himself. This is not uncommon with institutionalised kids who just don't get the direct care and attention they absolutely need. It passed and he was fine, but did have another one when Stacy tried to put the sweater back on. It didn't fit. He flipped out again, but in all honesty, he'd just been poked, prodded, disrobed, examined and played with by a complete (and no doubt terrifying) stranger. On top of that, he was obviously very tired as well and the result was not surprising to the doctor. It's perhaps the single most stressful morning we've spent here though.

After all of this, however, the doctor took us aside and gave us her prognosis, which was quite good. His mother has epilepsy but it is not hereditary. She has no history of drug or alcohol abuse which was also good. After asking the nurses from his groupa who had witnessed his "seizures" that were originally mentioned in the file, they said he had displayed no physical signs of epilepsy, as stated above. His groupa was being moved, there were other underlying stress factors at play and it was a form of this "freak-out" that they had diagnosed as mild seizures. That's not to say he is epilepsy free. It's possible he could develope it or has a very mild case, but that's not determined until we get home and the proper medical tests are done.

As for the rest of the tests, she says Christopher is very healthy. He is speach delayed only marginally, his motor skills and reactions/reflexes are all normal, his mental attitude is normal for a 2 year old, he seems like a very kind, sweet little boy that's only marginally delayed considering his circumstances - all in all he's happy and healthy. She actually said he's in really good shape for a kid of his age and position in the world. Isn't that fantastic?

Of course, all of this must now be sent to the Canadian agency that makes the final determination if he is qualified to immigrate to Canada but she said she was going to write down that he is very healthy and is not likely (though not absolute) to develop epilepsy. Even his heart murmur, which they detected at birth, has been rediagnosed as a non-issue and there are no other issues to worry about. So in a few days we'll know 100% but it looks like we're finally going to be a family. We should have the results of the tests and the Canadian answer by Friday.

So, when are we actually coming home, you ask? Well, have we got news for you!

We arrive in Toronto at 9:50 pm on Friday, November 18th, 2005 on Malev Airlines. It will be a long flight - leaving Kiev at 4:30 pm our time, then two hours on to Budapest where we change flights and embark on the final nine hour part of our journey.

And what a journey it's been. We have stories to tell till this time next year, I think. We simply can't wait to start telling them in detail without worrying about phone minutes or long distance charges. It's just incredible that through all the delays, all our doubts, worries and fear, that everything was lined up for this moment. I've been trying not to make this blog sound too preachy but I firmly believe that God is so good. He has made all of this possible and scared the heck out of us doing so but He's been in control the entire time and we thank Him for bringing this little person into our lives, for keeping you all safe at home and for the great blessing that is family and friends.

So thanks to you all and thanks to God. We're coming home.

PS - we also thank the person who brings Tim Horton's tea and coffee.

Like Sands through the Hour Glass, So are the Delays of our Lives

2005-10-29T10:45:00.000-04:00

Well, it really seems as though all the hard stuff is behind us. Yesterday the court devreed that we were parents to Christopher. Shortly after that, the third ticket came available for our trip home. THEN we got our water back at the hotel and we could actually bathe. I tell you, life is truly a blessing.

A more detailed post will come soon, but we just wanted everyone to know that we will be returning to Canada on Friday, November 18th. We're not sure of our itinerary yet but we will let everyone know as soon as we can.

Another thing that is simply amazing to me is that tomorrow we will be going out for the evening with some new friends we have made here in Kramatorsk. There are two other couples we have become familiar with, both from the States, and they seem very nice. We are now the senior vets so we get to tell everyone "how it's gonna be". There is also a new couple who just arrived and they are staying in the room next to ours at the hotel, but we've not really met them yet. The amazing thing, though, isn't that we're going out. It's WHERE we're goiong out. Seems there's a nice little restaurtant nearby called DaVinci's. We've been there a couple of times and it's quite nice. Well, tomorrow they are having a Halloween show of some sort. Now, I don't know what Halloween is like here, but the fact of the matter remains . . . we don't miss Halloween. YAY!!! We're dressing up as wearly travellers ready to go home. I think I can put a costume together fairly easily in that case.

Anyway, we'll post again when we have a detailed idea of when we come home. The end is in sight. There's light at the end of the tunnel. The bottom of the bowl can be seen through the broth. And a whole bunch of other euphamisms that means we're almost finished. YAHOO!!!!! Stay tuned.

The Dawn of a New Era

2005-10-28T11:56:00.000-04:00

Well, it finally happened. As of today, October 28th at approximately 3:15pm Ukraine time, Stacy and Ken Turner (us) became parents. We met with the judge this afternoon at 2 pm. We stood in the court room and he asked us several questions regarding our finances, our home, our career paths, our understanding of Christopher and his issues and the understanding of raising a child in general. We gave our answers honestly and clearly through the help of our translator, Max. I have to say, it was very nerve racking. The court room was about the size of the Batman room - very small. There was a steel cage for prisoners in one corner and benches all around the walls. The judge sat at his desk and we stood before him.

We did have a scare, however, before court began. He called all the "official" people into the room - Max, the representative from the orphanage and the representative for the orphanage director. A few minutes later they came out and the judge's secretary said there was a problem with the paperwork. *GASP!* We thought we were going to be posponed until Monday. Turns out the orphanage director had to be present, a rep didn't cover her according to the document so the director had to be summoned and she came down. After that, all was well. The judge then returned to his office while we waited outside. Max went in to read over the court decree and came out and said "Well, they've decided to grant the adoption". We almost cried. We then had to go back into the court room and the judge read the official decree. And that's that. We now have a ten day appeal period (which will not be appealed) and then on November 7th, 2005, we finally get to take Christopher into our arms and out of the orphanage for the rest of our lives. It's perhaps the greatest feeling in the world to know we're parents. I can only imagine what it will be like when we actually bring him home.

This afternoon we had a great visit with Christopher. We laughed and played and I taught him how to High Five. It's the first thing I've taught him. The first of many, I'm sure. Our friends just arrived and it looks like we may be able to send along some photos to go with this good news. No idea if it will work though. So, rejoice with us as we begin this new phase in our lives. Thanks again for all your prayers and support. You have no idea how much it means to us. All our love forever and always.

Yet another diagnosis (sorta)

2005-10-27T07:41:00.000-04:00

Well, it's not really a diagnosos, but it is an update on just what's going on here. First off, Stacy and I are feeling much better. Not 100% but well enough that we saw Christopher today. He was a little mad at us. Max told us that the folks at the orphanage said he was waiting for us all day yesterday, checking the door every time it opened or buzzed, but we didn't show. It took a few minutes this morning to get him to "talk" to us. Well, me more than Stacy. Turns out a cuddly Mommy is easier to forgive than a fuzzy Daddy. But it all worked out in the end. We introduced him to Barney today. We brought the computer to the orphanage and showed him his first glimpse of TV. He was stunned. He just sat and stared, two little fishy crackers in hand and completely forgotten about (he loves them), eyes all but unblinking. He was miffed when we turned it off. We didn't want to waste our morning watching TV. But the balls and blinky toys quickly took shape from the back pack and we had a great morning.

In yet another "typically Ukrainian" way - which is pretty much the opposite of everything we're used to at home - we have no running water. The entire city is without water as they prepare them for winter. What they're doing is anyone's guess, but from about 9 pm last night until apparently "sometime Saturday" there is literally no running water, hot, cold or otherwise. So it's sponge baths and baby wipes for court tomorrow morning.

One interesting thing we saw today was Wayne Picyk. For those of you who don't know, this is Stacy's sister's . . . uh . . . husband, I guess. We met another couple from the DC area this morning and thir facilitator looks exactly like Wayne, without the chin whiskers. Tall, dark curly hair, same body type, he really could have been Wayne's brother or cousin or some close relative. It was uncanny. If we see him again, maybe we'll try to take a photo if he'll let us. It was really weird.

Anyway, that's about all for now. This family is getting bigger and bigger. Stacy's cousin Belle just had a little baby girl this morning, her sister Marissa is ready to have a baby any day and of course we're bringing Christopher home. So, between all the Turners and all the Alfanos, I don't know how we're going to make it through Christmas. Whomever has the biggest house wins the right to host I guess (you know who you are, ha ha). OK, we'll update tomorrow after court. Keep praying, but it's basically a formality. I don't expect there will be an issue to worry about. But still, it doesn't hurt. More later. Till then . . .

Diagnosis and yet another update

2005-10-26T02:16:00.000-04:00

Well, Max's wife, as luck would have it, is a doctor. He called her yesterday with Stacy's symptoms and she's been diagnoses with food poisoning. Yuk. Not sure what but it's a doozie - it's been trying to get out of her for two days in any way possible. And there are only two ways out, if you know what I mean and the poison's been taking full advantage of both exits. She prescribed a medicine that should halp, though so far it's only eleviated things marginally. Hopefully she's OK by Friday which is our court date. Once again, add it to your prayers please.

As things turn out, we still have to get a medical done to satisfy Canadian authorities. Seems Sasha, back in Kiev, forgot to mention this and Max assumed since it wasn't part of his list or requirements it was not needed, as Sasha is responsible for all that sort of information. So far, Sasha hasn't exactly thrilled me in his attention to us or our case. Thankfully we have Max here, who has turned out to be worth his weight in gold. So, we e-mailed a request this morning and the doctor will be here end of the week or early next week, we're not sure. I don't think there will be anything discovered we don't already know but Canada has fairly strict limitations for what they deem allowable regarding immigration. So, yet again I ask that you keep us in your prayers that they find him healthy and acceptable. I can't even imagine what would happen if things fell apart at this point. Let's pray they don't.

I'd also like to request something from you guys when you post comments. Please sign them. If not, we don't know who is speaking to us. While we appreciate every comment, it's nice to know who they are from.

Also, Stacy would like someone to ask Di to give her a call tonight. She's feeling a little low and just wants to talk, nothing really important. You know it can be.

Well, that's all for now. We'll post again on Friday and let everyone know how the court date went. We see the judge between eight and nine am our time, so if you happen to be awake and inclined to do so, please feel free to pray for us.

OK, gonna run. God bless and thanks for your support. All our love and can't wait to get home. Till then . . .

Welcome to Dumpsville...Population ...US!

2005-10-25T10:58:00.000-04:00

Hey folks. It's been a pretty good week as we continue to bond with Christopher, however Stacy and I have both managed to come down with two different illnesses. I managed to catch a cold, which has had my head stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey for a few days and has nicely moved down into my chest. BLAH! Stacy has come down with a stomach virus of some sort, upset stomach, chills, the works. It's been a rough couple of days for both us of and I think tomorrow we're going to forgo a visit altogether for fear of infecting an entire building full of under-three year olds.

Christopher is doing great, however. Everyday we get closer and closer. He's at a point where he's not sure he wants to let us go when we return him to his groupa. He holds on a few extra seconds before relenting to the call of the caregiver. He's such a cutie. I don't know if we can go a whole day without seeing him, but it may be for the best.

Well, that's all for now. Just a quicky to say all is well (except the sickies on the sixth floor). Take care and we'll see you soon.

A Letter from Christopher

2005-10-21T08:14:00.000-04:00

Dear Frends an' fambly,

My name is Christopher Elija Igor Turner. I was born on July 29th, 2003 and weighed just under four whole pounds. I was brought to Kramatorsk, Ukraine after I was borned so I could live with a lot of other little boys and girls while we all waited to meet our Mommies and Daddies. I really like it at our orphanage, but sometimes they make me wear girl clothes and sometimes my shoes don't fit real good. I lived here for two whole years, hoping one day my Mommy and Daddy would come to see me. Then, one day, they did.

Just a few days ago, my care lady came in and dressed me all up really nice, like I was getting my picture took or something. She brought me to a little room with some people in it. I knew one lady, she was a doctor and I knew a man in there who is called a derecter or something. They are very nice. But there was three new people in the room too and I was very scared and I cried. But the new nice lady gave me a cookie and I really like cookies so I stopped crying. They talked for a long time and the new people kept looking at me and smiling and making silly faces, expecially the fuzzy guy. He tried to play peek-a-boo but I didn't know what peek-a-boo was so I didn't laugh. I'm still not sure what's so fun about peek-a-boo but the fuzzy guy likes it so I play with him.

The care lady took me back to my friends in Groupa 9 and the new people stayed an' talked. The next day they came and played with me and we had a lot of fun. I was still pretty scared but they seemed nice and they had soooo many cookies. I mean, when people come around with that many cookies and are just willing to give them out all the time, how bad can they possibly be?

They have been coming every day since then and I think I like them more and more. We play all kinds of games. Like this one where we roll cars on the floor or down a little slide. Or one where we bounce rubber balls really high. I try to catch them but I haven't catched one yet. Sometimes they bounce off of my tummy or my head and they laugh and I chase it. Sometimes I catch it when I chase it and sometimes I kick it and have to chase it more. Growns ups must be easy to make happy because while I'm running around like a silly goose, they just laugh and laugh and tell me how good I am. Also, the fuzzy guy keeps talking about something called a bat man, but I don't know what that is. He says I'm going to love it though, but we'll see.

Today we played with these neat things called books. They had animals in them with bits of fur and stuff and they feel really neato. I played with the books for a long time, ate some cookies and little fishies and had some juice. They also bring me stuff called yogurt which sounds kinda gross but is really yummy. I like it when the lady makes funny noises when the spoon is coming toward me.

I also like it when they tickle me around the ears, especially the left one. It's so nice and then they just gently tickle me on the cheeks and around my head. I like it so much it sort of makes me sleepy but I don't sleep because I don't want to miss it. I love to be cuddled and hugged and I even like to be kissed, which is good because the lady can't keep her lips off me.

The new people are realy nice and I am really happy that they are my Mommy and Daddy. I just knew that some day they were going to come and finally they did. I love to play with them and I guess I will be going with them to a new home really soon. I'll be sad to leave my groupa but I'm really happy that I'll have so many Grammas and Grampas and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends to play with.

Well, it's almost my nap time and then Mommy and Daddy are coming back to play some more, so I guess I better go. I'll put some pictures here so you can all see what I look like. I'm the one who isn't fuzzy or a lady.

I can't wait to meet you all and I love you very much already. See you really soon.

Love Christopher

LET THE BLUE PAINT FLY!!!!!

2005-10-20T12:52:00.000-04:00

Well, we saw the judge today. His job is to basically go over the paperwork and ensure all is in order so we can go get our court date secured. He was scary. He was critical. He was grumpy. He was signing the papers by the time we were ready to leave his office. So, that means we're yet another step further.

But wait! There's more.

He then sent us upstairs to another judges office and we waited outside while Max went in to talk to him. He came back out a few minutes later and said we finally had a court date. When's the date you ask? December 26th at 4:30 pm, the final session of the day. It's not uncommon, by the way, to have your case bumped to the next day because court always gets backed up on any given day. I'm just kidding. Our court date is next Friday, October 28th. This is good. We have next week to secure our final paperwork from Kiev, which is on its way via railcar in the next half hour. It will be in Kiev tomorrow, signed by Monday and back by Tuesday. We could have had court Thursday but we opted one extra day to be sure all is in order. Also, it's between 8 and 9 am so even if they do bump cases (which I totally made up by the way), we're safe. Once the court date is finished, we have ten days left here to wait for the Adoption Decree. At that time we can take Christopher with us. We'll go another region where he was born to secure his birth certificate and then to Kiev for passports and travel visa. Then we come home. We are looking, then, at being home sometime around the 20th of November. Hopefully sooner but probably not.

SO . . .

We'd like a large Tim Horton's tea with milk, bag out and an extra large coffee triple milk. HOT. And maybe a chocolate milk and a tim bit for our SON!!!

The end is in sight folks. Won't be long soon. Just wanted to share the good news. And once again, thank you all for your love, prayers and support. We'll see you all really soon (all three of us). And hopefully we'll get pictures posted soon. We're not moving to the apartment after all. Too sketchy of an area for our liking.

OK, gotta run. See you soon. Till then . . .

99.9% Sure

2005-10-19T12:42:00.000-04:00

Well, we had a pretty darn successful day today. We visited Christopher this morning and had a great time. I think he was a little sleepy so we played and cuddled, nothing really exciting but it was a lot of fun. Max told us that the director (shewho is in charge) says we really have nothing to worry about regarding any issues holding things back or worse, taking them away from us. He's as good as ours. We're only one signature away from starting the most important step, which is seeing the judge, which hopefully we will do tomorrow and then it's only paperwork, a judge and a couple of airplane rides left to consider. So thank you for all your thoughts and prayers. They seem to have been a resounding success.

This afternoon we went out and looked for shoes for Christopher. He's all scrunched into the ones the orphanage gives him and I'm sure it's very uncomfortable. However the ones we found were a little pricey and a little cheap looking, so tomorrow we will look elsewhere. Stacy bought him a cute little outfit though. Then we visited him again, from 4:30-6:30 and it was awesome!! We played catch and we rolled the ball, bounced the ball all over the little play room, we played cars and we played with Tickleface, a little doll we brought from home. This afternoon was my afternoon to bond as he and Stacy have developed quite a connection already. He's still partial to Stacy, I think, but at the end we just sat and cuddled, holding him in my arms and he rested his little head on my shoulder. When we left him, he smiled and waved, gave a kiss goodbye. He's the cutest kid in all of Ukraine, I'm pretty sure that's a safe thing to say. We simply can't wait for you all to meet him.

Well, that's all for today. Just a good news day with no major turnabouts or snags. For once.

We may be moving to an apartment instead of this hotel, which is about 1/3 the price and we can do laundry, so if any of you can't get through on phone, it may not be a problem too much longer. Also we will probably have internet service so we can finally send pictures. So stay tuned. . . More good news is yet to come.

Love to you all and thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers. God is good. God is great. Thank you for the best friends and (ever growing) family a couple could want. Amen.

We Need Your Prayers

2005-10-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

Well, as things typically go for us, there's yet another potential glitch in the works here. We are seeing more and more of Christopher every day and he is becoming more and more open to us. We can get him to smile and laugh and of course cuddle like crazy and today he called us Mamma and Pappa. I have to tell you, it was like our hearts leapt into the air and haven't come back down. We've taken loads of pictures and we love this little guy like we've known him for the past two and a half years. Even our translator said that the more he sees of him the more he thinks he looks like me (Ken).

So here's the glitch . . .

This little guy has a sister. She has a different father and they have never spent any time together as siblings or otherwise. Ukraine, as you may or may not know, has a policy where siblings are not separated, for obvious reasons. Max, our translator, says that there's a very slim (but possible) chance that this could pretty much call the whole thing off. He says the fact that his sister is not mentioned in the NAC file nor at the orphanage itself is a good sign for us. He also said that worse case scenario is that we adopt them both as siblings. However, Ontario doesn't allow parents to adopt more than one child at a time.

Now these kids are siblings in a technical sense. As far as anyone knows, they don't even know each other. The fact that she wasn't mentioned is a good indicator that things won't be interrupted but we won't know anything until tomorrow. No one even seems to know where she is, but she's seven years old and not in the NAC database and thus not up for adoption. So now we have some dinner, go upstairs and pray. And pray and pray and pray. We ask that everyone do the same - that Christopher becomes our son and that his sister is fine and has a family to call her own in one way or another.

Please pray for all of us. We simply can't imagine this coming out from under us at this point. It's simply inconcievable. Please pray.

We'll let you all know what happens tomorrow.

OH, and I'd hold off on that blue paint for just one more day, OK. Thanks.

Disclaimer and NEWS!!!!!!

2005-10-17T12:03:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone.

Well, somehow this blog has become some sort of sounding board on politics, personal opinions and a sort of debate forum. This is not what this blog is about. I would like to apologize for anything here that has been said that is offensive to anyone. It was never our intention to create tension or anything other than excitement and encouragement as we make this journey and share it with all of you. So let's all try to keep it about the adoption and nothing else. By no means do we want anyone to be upset, offended or feel as though they have been attacked in any way.

Now . . . On to the good stuff.

We arrived this morning by train at about 5:30 AM. It was a pretty uneventful trip. All we really did was sleep since there was nothing to see out the windows in the middle of the night. We travelled with another fellow named Sasha (not the same one we've been with so far), though he has now gone home. A fellow by the name of Max is joining us tomorrow and he will be with us for the duration of our time in this region (I can never remember the name- it'll come to me). KRAMATORSK!!! That's it.

We went to the orphanage today for our meeting and met with two doctors, regarding this little boy. His name is Igor, he is just over 2 years old. He has a mild mform of epilepsy that manifests itself not is seizures but rather a bluish line that runs from his nostrils to the corners of his mouth. They assure us that this is not a serious form of any physical disabilities, his pathology tests are fine and he apparently has no issues as far as neurological issues are concered. He also has a heart murmur, but it's just a minor issue.

After the meeting with the doctors they brought him in and he was SOOOOOO cute. He walked all by himself (though he held the caretaker's hand) and immediately started to cry when he saw a room full of strangers. But a hug and a cookie from his caretaker settled him down. We finished up a few details with the doctors and then went upstairs to the little play room they have and interacted with him. It was somewhat slow, but he took to Stacy relatively well right off the bat. He was a little less trustful of me, but he has female caretakers exclusively so there ya go.

Anyway, they told us that he was doing fine, was on medicine to keep him stable and healthy. We then left for a few hours and returned around 4:30 to see him a second time. We played and played for about two hours. First with flashy toys we brought, then with rubber and plastic balls, a little trolly rider and plastic rings. We managed to get him to smile a few times, though he's verbally delayed, which is not uncommon and not a reason for concern.

Oh, did I mention we're adopting him?

His name is Igor, though we will be changing it to Christopher Elija Igor Turner.

There's lots more to say but we're at an internet cafe and time, unfortunately, is money. We'll come back down and explain things further as soon as we can. So let the blue paint fly. She's a He after all.

Love you all very much and we look forward to seeing and hearing from you really soon. Oh, and our cell phone number is still active so feel free to call when you can. Hope to hear from you.

Clearing Things Up Further

2005-10-16T07:58:00.000-04:00

Hi again.

It has become apparent that the past blog was perhaps not quite as clear as I had intended. We have received several responses all in the same vein, and that is that we were asking people to butt out. I want to assure all of you that this was never the case. We never intended to indicate that we didn't appreciate people's interest and words of support while we go through this process. Of course, we know that anything anyone says to us is meant in the highest regard. We know that your love and support is with us and we by no means wish to dismiss that support. While we have made friends here in Ukraine, it is the kind words and e-mails we get from all of you at home that helps to keep us going.

The purpose for that post was multi-fold. First, it was to explain just how the system works over here. There are apparently many, many people who are following this blog, more than we even know and this blog is the primary way of knowing what we are doing here. Also, what we had explained to everyone before we left is not actually how things have turned out. So, we wanted to explain how things are working. Many people look at these blogs as they prepare their own journeys to Ukraine or around the world, looking for tips, things to expect, etc etc etc. That's what we did before we left and that's how we came to know some of the people we have met here. So it was to explain to a larger reading audience just how things are working for us.

When I said "everyone has a story", it wasn't meant to be sarcastic. It wasn't me rolling my eyes and saying "What the heck to you know about anything?". I hope that's not what people thought. In re-reading the blog, I can see why someone might feel that this was what I was saying, but it's not the case. My point was that every case is different. There are some fundamental truths in situations like this, but from everything we have ever heard from many, many adoptive families, Ukraine tends to be fairly unique in its system. Mostly because there is no "system" per se. It's constantly changing. So by no means did I intend to indicate that no one but us knows what they are talking about. I was saying that one person's story doesn't always reflect another's, although we understand the sentiment behind such stories and appreciate them.

The other thing we were trying to convey was just that Stacy and I are doing OK over here. Yes, it's stressful and emotional, but we're managing. People have told us to not let ourselves be bullied or coerced into making rash decisions and to be careful that we're not just settling for something for the sake of settling. We were not dismissing those words. Not by a long shot. We hear and appreciate everything everyone says. What we were trying to do was say that you at home don't have to worry. We are both emotional people but we are keeping our wits about us and we don't want you to have to worry about that.

Your love and support are the most important things we carry with us throughout Ukraine. More than luggage and suitcases, we need your emotional support, your love and sometimes your advice to help us get through, and sometimes just to hear a familiar voice. You have all been nothing but supportive to us. You've been there when we needed to seek medical advice. You've been there when we just needed to cry for a few minutes. You've been there when we wanted to share good news as well as bad. And we know you always will be and there is nothing that means more to us than that.

I know that sometimes when one writes something down, it's difficult to tell if the voice is being sarcastic or cheerful, cruel or funny, etc, etc, etc. Perhaps that might be why so many people reacted to the last post. So, without the benefit of being able to vocalise this with real emotion, we ask that everyone who reads this understands that we love and appreciate everything everyone has done (and will undoubtedly do) for us. We know you are there for us and be sure that should the time ever come, we will be there for you. Don't take that post as an indication that we don't want to hear from anyone. Please, please, PLEASE post comments and send e-mails. We want to hear from all of you. And don't for a second think that we don't appreciate advice and support. We have never felt offended, attacked or dismissed by anything anyone has ever had to say. We simply wanted to clarify the details of the process to people who may be looking here that we perhaps don't even know or seldom talk to, and we wanted to just let everyone know that we're doing OK emotionally and we're not going to let anyone push in a direction we are not willing to go.

I hope this has cleared things up a little for everyone. We love you and thank you for everything you have done and are doing and I whole-heartedly apologize if anyone felt like we were inappreciative of anything. It simply isn't the case.

Well, we leave in a couple of hours on our overnight train ride, which should be an experience. Then Monday we have our meeting and then, who knows? But we'll keep you all posted. And please don't hesitate to call or write. We look forward to it with open hearts. The first thing we do every morning is check for messages, hoping to hear a kind word from home.

All our love to all of you. Forever and always.

Clearing Things Up from Kiev

2005-10-15T01:54:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Well, it looks like today is our last full day in Kiev for a while. If all goes well, the next few days just may mark the beginning of the end of our time here in Ukraine. Finally. Although we can't complain. We know a couple who has been here since July! And they're still at least a week or two from going home. So we should learn to count our blessings when we have them, I assure you.

I'd like to take a moment to clear things up as far as this entire processs is concerned; How things operate; How we deal with various people and situations; How we come to any final decisions about who our child is and when we can bring them home.

First off, let me say that anything Stacy and I told any of you about the process, prior to our original departure from home, was a lie. Not an intentional lie, of course, but we were sorely misinformed. Now, it could be that last year, when the porcess was explained to us, the details we told all of you were in fact the way things were. But if we have learned one thing while spending time here, it's that nothing is absolute. Things change and can do so quite literally over-night.

When we first went to see the adoption agency in Toronto, we had to specify age and gender. This gave the orphanages something to go by in as far as which children would suit us best. So we were told. As you know, we chose a girl, under two years old. What we were then told is that the orphanages would keep our dossier on file and when at least one child met our profile, our names would be called and off to Ukraine we'd go. There could be upwards of six, they said, or as few as one, or somewhere in beween. That's what we thought. That's what we told everyone. Again, at that particular time, almost a year and a half ago, that may well have been the case. The couple who have been here since July had been told the same thing and they had started their process roughly around the same time we did. So it was probably the way it was done at that time. Again, however, things change.

We knew we were to look through binders, but the many, many children, we were told, would be simply the batch we had to skip through to find the kids who were available. This became a partial truth. There were binders and there were literally hundreds of very, very ill children, but there were NOT any children selected for us. We had to search the binders and find them ourselves. What this meant was that not only were there no little girls under two set aside for our parusal, there may not necessarily even be any little girls. Maybe yes, maybe no. It all depended on what children happen to be healthy and available at any given time. See, the process had changed. So, although our first selection was sort of settled on under a little bit of pressure, we went to see the first little boy and we all know how that turned out. I won't bog down this blog with those details but it wasn't a pleasant experience. Plus, we still wanted a little girl, for crying out loud!

We finally got a second appointment and when we got to the NAC, we were very early. Sasha went in ahead of us and came out with some information. The day's new files had come in and within them was another little boy, who he said was 4 years old, and healthy, with a history of (only two) mild seizures. But we wanted a girl!! He said we could set him aside and still look through the binders. Again. Eventually we went in and sat down, looked at his file and he sure was cute. Also, he's only 2, not 4. He seemed healthy enough, though a doctor will give him a full examination on our dime, but we set him aside. We wanted a girl! Under two! This was a boy just over two! We wanted to look through the binders again. As we looked at the same bunch of sick kids it became apparent that we were really getting nowhere. We realised these were just the same files over and over. Sasha said, basically, if a child is in the book for more than a couple of days, there's usually a really good reason. And since most of them were HIV, Hep. C, cerebral palsied, or even worse, there was the reason we had seen it all before. But we just couldn't bring ourselves to consider this boy. We had already seen a boy. And we wanted a GIRL! Why didn't anyone understand that? Finally, we decided to take a few hours and think things over. It was a horrible feeling. We were beginning to wonder if we were doing the right thing, in the right frame of mind to make decisions, even if we were in the right part of the world. But after talking to a few of you and doing some praying and soul searching, we decided that perhaps we weren't meant to have a little girl at all. Perhaps we were being told that this is the right path to choose. After all, if God has a plan, who are we to deviate from that plan? Peter did it to Christ all the time and if you are at all familar with the story, it didn't end up doing him much good in the end.

Anyway, we came to the conclusion that this little boy, who looks healthy and cute and who needs a home and a family to love him just as much as any other child here, deserved at least enough of our time to visit with him. You see, in making preparations for this trip over the past year and a half, Stacy and I made a critical error. And I think, in turn, a lot of us have made that same error. We were convinced we were going to go to Europe and return with a healthy, happy two year old girl named Cassarina. So convinced that we had allowed ourselves to create an emotional bond, to fall in love, with a child that may not even exist at this time. When we left, we all said "Who knows, maybe we'll have to paint the room blue", but I don't think any of us truly believed that would happen. Why? Because we had already decided on Cassie, yet Cassie just may not be available yet. Someday, perhaps, but maybe not right now. And maybe not right here.

So this Monday we will meet this little boy. We have no reason to say no if he's healthy. We can certainly love him just as much as a little girl. And if we say yes, by no means are we simply settling for anything. By no means are we being coerced into anything. If we say yes, it will because we will know, in our hearts, whether this is the right decision or not. Of course we'll have doubts, we'll be scared, but I think that would be so under any circumstances. This is a life-altering decision we are making but I assure you, we are not making it lightly.

Sometimes it feels as though some people at home wonder if Stacy and I are capable of making these decisions on our own. I don't think that's inherently true, but it feels that way sometimes and that can get a little frustrating. But rest assured, Stacy and I have learned much over the past month. We have learned to love each other even more than we have before. We have learned to be patient and level headed in a system that invites frustration and chaos. We have cried on each other's shoulders and we have tickled each other until we have tears in our eyes. We have become spiritually strong as well as emotionally. Personally, I have developed a connection with God I never thought possible and it can provide you with strength that seems almost boundless. And by all means, we have come to the conclusion that the child who is meant for us is here. Is it a Cassie? Could be. However, it is just as reasonable to consider that it might be a Christopher. There is no reason to think one way or the other until we simply know for sure that any given child is the child for us. And we will know when the time comes.

There's enough love to go around and the heart is seldom sexist when it comes to children. And if this little boy is the one we choose to be our son, you can be certain that he was chsen not becuase we're homesick and just want our own bed. Not because it's too hard to go through another round of meetings and files. Not because we are incapable of making an even-headed, intelligent decision. Not because someone was leaning on our shoulder and saying we better decide NOW. It's because this is the little boy we are meant to love for the rest of our lives.

And if he's not, we carry on.

Anyway, I hope this didn't sound too preachy and by no means am I pointing fingers or telling anyone off. We just wanted to clarify a few things here. Everyone has an adoption story. Everyone knows someone and it's only human nature to say "Well, so and so did this and they did that", but every case is different. Every single one. Even here, we know of two couples in the same orphanage, with the same judge, and their cases are being handled completely differently. That's just the way things are here. It's sad and frustrating but it's true. It's incredibly difficult to explain and I'm sure it's difficult to understand fully. I don't think anyone truly can unless they are or have been in the middle of the thick of things in this particular case. Needless to say, if anyone asks, "What can I expect?" the only answer that holds any water is "Anything."

So, don't buy any blue paint just yet. But it's entirely possible that you may be called upon to rush to Barons Avenue and splash some around. And when you do, know that the blue paint was selected with our minds every bit as much as with our hearts.

I hope you all are doing well and we can't wait to see you. We miss every single one of you, including the fuzzy ol' cats and dogs. Heck, I even miss Steve and Chris's wretched bird. All our love forever and always. See you soon.

She's a He?! Maybe.

2005-10-13T08:01:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone.

Well, we had our second appointment at the NAC this morning and let me tell you, it wasn't easy. We were there almost two hours early and sat in the foyer, just waiting and thinking. Is today the day? Sash came out and told us that the new files of the day included a little boy, 4 yrs old, with epilepsy but otherwise he's in perfect health. We said "But we want a girl. We'll budge on the age, but we really want a girl". We had seen a boy last time and it was the single most horrific event in our lives. Anyway, we finally went into the office and sat down and were presented, first and foremost, with the new file of the little boy. He was a cute little guy with big eyes and blonde hair. He was just sitting on a chair, as if to say "Get on with it already". We also discovered that he was only 2.3 years rather than 4 years old. So, we looked him over and set him aside, then went on to the binders again. Those wretched, horrible binders. We were in the office for over an hour, thinking "But we want a girl. We're supposed to have a girl." But alas, there were none. But we couldn't bring ourselves to "settle" for this little boy. We didn't know what to do. Sasha told us to go home to our apartment for a few hours, talk it over and make a decision. So, after long and hard deliberation, a few tears (by a few I mean a raging river of them) and a couple of prayers and searching to see where God was leading us, we decided to go and see this little guy.

He's in an orphanage about 700 kms away from here in Kiev, so we'll have to go on an overnight train to see him. We may go as soon as tonight, but maybe tomorrow. If all goes well, this may just turn out to be the child God has planned for us. This remains to be seen. But we came to the conclusion (with a little help) that if God provides doors for us, we are obligated to look behind them before we close them again. You just never know what's on the other side, no matter how scared you are to look. So we're going to look.

SO!

All this is to say that maybe . . . just maybe . . . we'll have to make a few ammendments in our plans. Our incredibly pink room may have to turn blue. Our cute little dresses may have to be exchanged for cute little jumpers. And Cassie's Journey may have to be retitled Christopher's Journey. Time will tell.

We would just like to thank all of you who have been supportive of us and have offered us nothing but encouragement and your best wishes. It plays a large part in our getting through all of this, believe me.

Anyway, we just wanted everyone to know what's going on. We'll keep you all updated as quickly as we can. We'll be leaving the apartment either tonight or tomorrow so the land line will no longer be of any use, but I believe we will still have our cel phone. If the number changes, we'll let you know.

So that's it. It's been a pretty emotional day for us, but a good one in the end, I think. Wish us luck and say a prayer. Thanks again everyone. We love you all and miss you all and can't wait to see you.

Till then . . .

Good News and some more Pics

2005-10-10T13:47:00.000-04:00

Well, we finally have another glimmer of hope. We got word today that our next referral date is this coming Thursday. We won't know what time until Wednesday night, but it's certainly a positive sign that we're actually going in the proper direction. More on that when the news comes our way. In the meantime, we'll show you some more pictures.

We spent today with Jodi and her Mom, Karen. Steve, Jodi's husband, went home last FRiday as they are finally at the end of their road here in Kiev. They've been here since JUly, so it's amazing that they managed to last this long. But last they did, hurdled every roadblock and are going home with a beautiful little girl. Anyway, we visited a couple of churches today that were absolutely breathtaking. Stacy and I had been on the grounds of these churches last week but we didn't go in. Today we did and I must say, it has been the highlight of this trip so far.

The first one we saw was St. Michael's Cathedral. It's a working church with services every Sunday. The entire interior is covered in amazing artwork, portraiture and fresco paintings. Not an inch is left uncovered and it's absolutely breathtaking. The entire back wall of the church was intricately crafted, gold- plated metalw work from floor to ceiling, which was easily a hundred feet high, reaching to the domed ceiling. We simply cannot describe how beautiful it was. There are no words to describe it. Unfortuately, they don't allow photographs inside, so we can't show you what it looked like, but rest assured, it was stunning, to say the least.

We then went across the promenade to another church, St. Sophie's. This is an 11th century church that no longer holds services. It is strictly a museum piece but it's absolutely incredible as well. Alas, no photo ops here either, but it was really something,let me tell you. It was in varying stages of restoration so we can see what it looked like a thousand years ago. Fresco painings again, from wall to ceiling (even taller than the other church, ornate gold-plated metal work and amazing carpentry work. The floor was a series of solid, cast-iron plates, each about 2X2. There were a few excavated sections of the floor, under glass, which showed the original marble flooring and tile murals (which for the life of me I can't remember what they are called). There were exposed, unfinished arches that we could touch and it's amazing to think that another person's hands laid those stones a thousand years ago!

We also went into the St. Sophie's bell tower, which was also pretty cool. I don't know how tall it was, but it was pretty darn tall. I only went to the first deck because I have this thing about heights. I don't want to fall from them. So Stacy and I stayed on the bell deck while Jodi and her Mom went another level up. Still, the view was spectacular and again, it's amazing that these structures have been here for so long. It makes our North American history seem almost insignificant compared to this.

Anyway, that's pretty much all we did. We stopped for lunch and we walked around and saw a few little parks and whatnot. All in all it was a lovely, leisurely day. We've been really lucky with the weather. It's been between 15 and 20 degrees every day without a hint of rain (though it's suposed to rain on Wednesday). We just wear our t-shirts and sweaters that we leave unbuttoned and everyone else here is bundled for winter. We've met another couple from LA who are just about frozen solid already. They haven't seen anything yet.

So, here's the pictures. I wish I could say they did them justice but they simply don't. As impressive as they look, they were a hundred times more breathtaking in person. Enjoy.

This is St. Michael's Cathedral. As amazing as it looks outside, it's nothing compared to the majesty that is inside.

This is St. Sophia's Cathedral. As incredible as it sounds, this building has been standing on that spot for almost a thousand years. It's inconcievable. FYI: Sophia means "Wisdom of God"

This is the bell tower at St. Sophia's. It's pretty incredible all on its own. We only made it to the first level.

This is just a neat view of two of the roof spires of S. Sophia's as taken from the bell tower.

This is me sitting on a big steel lion with water spitting out of its mouth.

Happy Thanksgiving

2005-10-09T00:50:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. We sure do wish we could be there with you, but alas, we'll probably be having traditional Thanksgiving Perogies and Borscht for dinner. I'm kidding. It'll be chicken. Whatever it is, it won't be turkey, ham and all the fixin's while sitting around a table with loved ones. Here's a few more pictures for you to enjoy. These were taken during one of our walking trips in the theatre district. It has a cool sounding Russian name but I forget what it is. I'll find out and post it later. In the meantime, enjoy the photos.

This is the Golden Arch - no, not THAT golden arch. This was once the origianal gate into Kiev from Soviet Russia. The Ukrainian people are very proud of their rich history but this has kind of been forgotten. Seems a number of years ago it was decided to revitalise the arch but people felt it was not done historically accurate. You can't see in this photo, but on either side are large, concrete walls, which were not accurate. Thus, the arch, what should be one of the most historic structures in Kiev, is nothing more than an eyesore to the people. When we were there this time, people were scrawling grafitti all over it.

This is the interior of the Arch. Pretty cool, eh?

The is the Kiev Opera House. It's absolutely stunning and just massive. Now, be careful not to confuse this with the Oprah House, which is much different. See, the Oprah house is sometimes massive, then sometimes tiny, then sometimes big again, thus it can be hard to recognise it. Hee hee. Get it? Opera? Oprah? Massive? Little? Oprah has weight issues? Get it? Ah, forget it.

This is just a pretty little side street we saw. Nice, isn't it?

This is Independent Square again - the main street. Every weekend the entire street is blocked off to cars and it becomes a pedestrian promenade. There are vendors and buskers, musicians, we saw a guy dressed like Shrek the other day, guys with monkeys who want to take your picture (haven't you always wanted a mon-KEY?). It's pretty cool. Lots to see and do.

Well, that's about all for now. Sorry I can't post more pictures but I'm lucky I manage to get this up and running. Take care. More to come soon. Miss you all. Love always. Till then . . .

Independence Square

2005-10-07T01:37:00.000-04:00

Hey folks,
Well, I got brave and tried to send along a few more pictures. This is Independence Square, which is the main, downtown centre of Kiev. It's absolutely breathtaking. Everything you need can be found here. From hand-made Ukrainian crafts to lunch at McDonald's. There is a really cool underground shopping mall and there are vendors all over the place, selling their goods on the side of the street. Beer and cigarettes are plentiful and all the bootleg movies and cd's you can imagine. We bought (when I saw "we", I mean "I") a Batman DVD with all five Batman movies as well as Catwoman. Of course, it's in Russian and we can't understand it, but it's still kinda cool. The tower with the globe on top is kinda neat. Each of the white lines you see there mark the distance from Kiev to each of the outer regions. So if you want to know how far it is, you can look there and it will tell you in kilometers. There are fountains and statues everywhere. There is one monument here that if you look, is also a fountain and the water cascades down the steps. It's really interesting and the pictures don't do it justice. The architecture is amazing, but there will be more on that in a later post. So enjoy a few of these pictures as they come. Believe me, it's been hard to get to his point, but every road block, however trivial, has seemed to be easily maneuvered in the end. Faith. Take care. Enjoy.

Pics? Please??????

2005-10-06T13:14:00.000-04:00

This BETTER work!!!!

OK. This has been a nightmare, so I hope this worked and you have just looked at pictures of our apartment. I hope you like it. Me? I hate it. Why? Because I just sat in it for an hour trying to get these flippin' pictures to work!!! So you BETTER like them! Even if you don't, just say you did. It will make me happy. By the way. . . the only reason I didn't pitch this infernal machine across the room is that it's our only source of outside communication. *sigh* I wanna go home.

Crisis Averted and Maybe Some Pics

2005-10-06T12:52:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Well, it turns out that the fire issue isn't as bad as we thought or were afraid of. The fire itself was contained to the director's office and was apparently the result of an unattended candle. Is that true? Who knows. But that's what we heard. Sasha came this morning and we had to rewrite our letter to request a second interview, but he said it shouldn't delay things more than a day or so. So hopefully that's true.

Today was a pretty uneventful day for us. We went to lunch with our friends and went to the grocery store, which is always an adventure. We have to carry our little Russian dictionary with us but it doesn't always help us identify what we are looking at. For example, we knew we had found mustard (which isn't as easy as one might think) but when we got home and made sandwiches, it was some sort of horse radish mustard/ultra spicy yellow gloop. It was aweful but live and learn, I guess. Otherwise we have to just go by the picture and hope for the best. So far it hasn't been too bad but the pasta here is incredibly heavy and after a couple of tries we have abandoned spaghetti as a potential dinner item. So far the only things we've really found that are consistantly edible is pizza and perogies (and even the perogis aren't like we have at home). Oh well, it's all part of the experience I guess.

Well, I think I've figured out how to post the pictures without gobbling up our time, so I'm going to try and post a few here. These are of our apartment and I think I'll put in a few from a little garden patio we found on one of our walking adventures. Enjoy.

OK, this is getting frustrating. It will only allow a couple of pictures at a time. I'll do my best to fiure this out yet. Grrrrrr!!!!!

Test

2005-10-05T16:10:00.000-04:00

Further Delays . . .

2005-10-05T15:38:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone. Well, there's no news as far as getting a further appointment is concerned, but this time it's not just a matter of our sitting and waiting our turn. Well, I suppose it is, but not for the simple bureaucratic reasons. As it turns out, there was a fire at the NAC today. Not a big fire, but a fire non the less. Ironically, Stacy and I were at lunch this afternoon in the building RIGHT NEXT DOOR when this happened. As we left, we saw the fire trucks go past us (we were a half block away by then) and thought "Huh. Must be a fire somewhere". Turns out it was in the office where our files were kept. Needless to say, we are now in a whole new phase of the process. Re-do some paperwork. Now, this MAY not be as bad as it might have been. What got destroyed that was ours was our petition to have a second look at the binders. See, last Friday, by the time we got back to Kiev from the orphanage, the NAC was closed. We had to wait until Monday to submit this letter. Because the office was closed, we wound up holding our entire file at our apartment. Everything was in there - our official documents, our translated documents, everything that we need to make this adoption work. On Monday, Sasha came by and we drafted the letter, intending to give him the entire file. The file, then, would have been resubmitted to the NAC, where it would be kept until our next appointment. Sasha said to us, "You might as well just keep this here, we don't really need it" and only took the letter. Thus, our entire file was spared. Now it could be that the file may not have been in that office, but the letter was so it seems likely that it all would have been. Anyway, Sasha is coming tomorrow morning to edraft the letter with us and explain everything that will happen from here. I assume there will be delays, since the director's office and the room where we look at binders is on the same floor. Maybe they will move the binders? Maybe we'll be delayed for a few extra days? Maybe all is fine and it's not as bad as it sounds? We'll find out tomorrow and let you all know ASAP. So keep us in your prayers and while you're at it, add a few for the folks whose files might have been in that office and may well be back to absolute square one.

Well, that's about all for today. Mostly we spent it strolling the neighborhood. We discovered that the two main places we have been taking the subway to is actually within walking distance. We stumbled on this by accident, just strolling along and looking at the scenery. I promise we will send photos as soon as we can. I'm having trouble uploading them to the site, since they take so long and every minute costs money.

OK, I'm off for now. We'll let you all know what happened as soon as we know a little more. Wish us luck and say a prayer if you don't mind. We could sure use it. Love you all.

A Brief Update - Nothing Exciting

2005-10-04T01:27:00.000-04:00

Hi again,

Well, there's nothing really new to report today, I'm afraid. After our first visit to an orphanage we had to write a petition letter to ask the NAC Director to grant us another interview. Hopefully we hear something in the next couple of days or so. In the meantime, it's getting a little dull here. We've limited language with most of the people here so it makes it difficult to socialise. We're getting a little tired of eating out, though it's not entirely expensive for the most part. Stacy and I can both eat a good meal for less than twenty dollars in total, drinks included. There is plenty to see and we've been doing a lot of that. We just leave the apartment and wander about, seeing what streets go where and so on. Yesterday we did a four hour walking tour, just the two of us. We started in the theatre district, where we saw the Opera House, which is stunning. Then we just wandered around the streets, had a drink at a little outdoor cafe (there are loads of them) and walked to Independence Square. We saw the most incredible architecture I have ever soon - churches that were hundreds of years old and adorned with golden fixtrues, rooftops, spires - breathtaking. We have loads of pictures and as soon as I can figure out a way to post them here without eating up my internet minutes I will do so. Unfortunately, we have dial up service here and it's as slow as molasses so pictures take forever to load. One day I'll manage. Or maybe I'll just send them in an e-mail. I don't know.

Our friends Jodi and Steve have their (hopefully) final meeting today, so they may actually get to go home in the near future. They've been here for almost three months and are ready to just get home. These poor people, it seems as though every possible thing that could get in their way of getting home has done so. But hopefully light is finally at the end of their tunnel.

Well, that's about all for now. As I said, nothing too exciting. We'll keep you posted though when something does happen, rest assured. In the meantime, take care. Love you all. Till then . . .

Family

2005-10-02T02:18:00.000-04:00

Here I am, once again, sitting with my coffe in the early hours, waiting for another day to begin. Today we're to meet for lunch with our friends, Jodi and Steve, then off to church. Afterwards . . . who knows? Maybe a little sight seing, maybe just come home.

As I read through the comments left on this blog from all of you (not counting the junk mail comments that get dumped in there), and the reason for this blog in the first place, I began to consider the importance of family. There are those of you out there who are so close to Stacy and I that we consider you family. You know who you are. There are those of you who we speak with or see on a regular basis who actually are family. And then there are those of you who are following our journey and are also family or friends and yet when I stop to think of it, I can't really remember the last time we saw each other. It was likely a wedding or a funeral, but both have been in short supply as of late and thus our opportunities to "catch up" have been sparse. Being a man who is about to become a father, I have begun to seriously consider just how important these relationships really are. These people, the ones we call brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, mothers and fathers, friends and allies, are the people who define us. They are the people in whom we are reflected and who are reflected in us. We share physical characteristics, personality traits (in my case, a rapier-like sense of humour and stunningly rugged good looks - tee hee) and most importantly, we share a bond that should never be broken.

For ages I have been saying "We need to spend more time with So-and-so," but for whatever reason, never get around to it. "What's Blah Blah's e-mail address?" But then I sit down and send off bulk jokes and never type a "How's it going? Long time no see" letter. Now, as my own family is about to take shape, I really do stop and reconsider just how important these relationships are. I have had relationships with friends and family members in the past that were very strong and very important, only to have them dissolve and disappear. Now, I don't even know where some of these people live. How sad.

Anyway, without trying to sound extra sappy or overly dramatic, I ask for one favour. If any of you are out there reading this, people I didn't even know that knew about this entire endeavour, people I once called friend and/or family but haven't called at all in the past, oh, decade or so, please leave me your e-mail address in the comment section. I really do want to include all of you in my life and in our family. The time has long past for fences to be mended, hardships forgotten, foolish behaviour set aside for the love and respect that comes with maturity and just plain old forgetting to get around to calling.

Feel free to e-mail, leave a comment, or whatever you like. We'd love to hear from you all. My e-mail is gilliganfonzarelli@hotmail.com Hope to hear from you, friends or family. Hopefully, you're both.

Touched by an Angel (or two . . . or three . . .)

2005-10-01T02:52:00.000-04:00

As I sit here this morning, sipping my instant coffee in a little livingroom 6000 miles away from home, I've had time to reflect on something that I think is truly awesome and that is God. As many of you may know, I've been struggling with my faith and my full commitment to God. I describe it as a bowling ball dangling from a thread. The ball is my faith but that tiny piece of thread is what seems to be holding me back from just fully commiting myself and I simply can't figure out a way to (or the reason why I can't, for that matter) break that thread. I think it's a thread of "logic" that perhaps just doesn't allow me to simply let go and allow myself to manage on faith alone. I've felt this way for a long, long time. Well, I believe that my piece of thread is finally beginning to frey.

When we got to Kiev and were left in this apartment we had no one. We were completely alone, with no money, no language, no food or drink. We truly thought we had been abandoned. All we had was a phone number that would get us in touch with Steve and Jodi Ivy, people we had been in contact with from home. The Ivy's are here to adopt a little girl. She's deaf and we were to bring them my sign language textbook to help them learn to communicate with their beautiful little girl. Didn't we think we were something special? Here we were, travelling half way around the world, and going to do this wonderful, charitable gesture. We are GREAT people. Except that's not what happened.

When we were stranded here (so we thought), we had a very sleepless first night. Stacy and I talked and talked about what to do. We decided that the next day, we would find someone who would help us contact the Ivy's and we would get them to help us get home. We were positive we had been had and couldn't figure out why anyone would do that to us. So, downstairs from our apartmet is a little hair salon. We packed our suitcases and had them ready, went down and HOPED that someone spoke english. There was a girl there who spoke very good english, almost perfect. She allowed us to use her cel phone and we were able to contact our friends. Once we made contact,t hey told us not to panic, not to worry, that we were probably not abandoned. Sometimes communication between the facilatators and the adoptive families wasn't quite clear and they had little doubt that anyone had simlply left us. So, after spending the morning with their little girl, they got a map, got on the metro (subway) and found us. We had lunch with them and spent the day in Independence Square, where our facilatator finally met up with us. Since then, we have been quite comfortable, have met some very nice people, have learned a few essential words in Russian, been invited out for drinks and basically have made some very good new friends in a very short time.

Now consider this. When we were home and making contact with the Ivy's, we had no idea Ukraine was so BIG. There are various regions and they are very spread out. Literally hundreds of kilometers apart. Yet, as we planned to do a selfless act of kindness in bringing that book, God placed Steve and Jodi Ivy twenty minutes away from us. They could have been anywhere, in any region, but they were here in Kiev, where we needed them to be. Also, the girl downstairs who let us use her cel phone hasn't been back since. We've tried to go in every day to see her and say thank you, maybe offer her a couple of dollars for her trouble, but she's never there. Never. And those who are there don't speak english. She's the only one.

That said, we have new friends in the Ivy's, and through them we have met a couple named John and Tanya, who have adopted a little girl of their own. They actually got to bring her with them for good yesterday and will remain in Kiev for another week or so before finally being able to go home. They and the Ivy's are both strong Christian families. They have found their children and they are perfect for them. This gives us great hope.

So, all that being what it is, how can I not believe? This is all something that has been desined long before we were scheduled to fly half way around the world. The girl downstairs was there for us. They Ivy's were there for us. I guess perhaps we were there for them as well, but I don't see it as such a charitable act on our part anymore. No, God truly is in control and my closeness with Him is getting stronger and stronger by the day. I honestly believe that.

Anyway, I just wanted to let that off my chest and just say how truly wonderful God is. I pray that my thread will snap before we return to Canada.

Life in Kiev

2005-09-30T11:49:00.000-04:00

Well, as another day winds down in Kiev, I have decided to let you all in on just what the heck is going on over here. Life in Kiev is a lot different than quiet old Barons Avenue South. We have an apartment, which is quite nice, actually, although they don't make efforts to maintain the hallways and outside of the buildings. We have a little kitchen area with a small sitting area attached as well as a fairly large foyer when you come in the front door. We also have a full bath, though the shower has no curtain. The shower head is on a flex hose and you have to sit in the tub to shower. Or take a bath, I guess, but it's quicker to shower. We also have a fairly big bedroom with a large vanity and a queen size bed. It's not the MOST comfortable bed we've slept on but it's pretty good. In the bathroom there is also a small washing machine so we can actually do laundry. This is both good and bad. Good because we don't have to wash our clothes by hand, bad because w ultimately brought wayyyyy too much clothing. But we thought that might happen - we just have no way to know. We also have two TV's but there's nothing that we can understand so we don't bother watching them. They do have a music channel that plays english songs but it's bothersome to sit through songs we don't understand, so we just leave it turned off.

Instead, we have been watching DVD's on the computer and reading. We brought along Stacy's box set of the ultra-ridiculous-swore-I'd-never-watch-an-episode Desperate Housewives. Anyway, long story short, if I don't get home and find out what's happening on Wisteria Lane soon, I'm gonna burst. I'm totally hooked and it's actually a pretty decent little show. Tonight we begin the Lost box set, so that should take some time.

The people here are very friendly and it's not all that difficult to find someone who speaks a little english. As I have said, we have made some friends here, so that makes things easier too. However, the driving conditions are unspeakable! People literally just go wherever they want to. They obey stop lights, but once tey turn green it's every man for himself. If you are making a left turn and a guy coming toward you wants to make a right, he just goes around instead of waiting. If there's no parking, people just park on the sidewalk. It's just common practice to do so.

Everything here is pretty inexpensive, too. Every dollar at home is worth about five here. Stacy and I can go out for dinner and have a great meal for about $25 in total, drinks included. Mind you, you have to be careful, too. There are tons and tons of peddlers and markets set up along side the road and sometimes you don't know if you're getting ripped off or not. I paid fifteen Grivna (their money) for a phone cord. It's only five bucks, but I think he would have charged someone else less. We bought fruit from a little market across the street and paid a lot, though I think it's probably organic and the bananas were Dole, so they were imported. We also bought 2 oranges, also imported, so it's hard to say.

People drink beer in the street at all hours of the day, and all ages. There's no drinking age and you can buy a bottle of beer on the street at one of the many little kiosks and tents set up along all the major streets. People smoke everywhere, which makes things a little unpleasant at times. There's no non-smoking section in restaurants, for the most part, so they can get a little stuffy at times.

Well, Stacy says I have to wrap this up and she's probably right. She's sitting right beside me so I have to say that. He hee. Tomorrow we'll be going to the circus, which should be fun. And Sunday our friends are taking us to church. Then Momday it's back to business. So that's all for now. Stay tuned. More to come very soon. Till then . . .

Finally on-line at home

2005-09-29T12:05:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone.

Well, we're finally on-line at our apartment so hopefully we stay here long enough to make regular updates. I sent out an e-mail to everyone, but for some reason, it didn't go through. Also, I sent another and Steve's, Marissa and Jason's and Ang and Al's all came back, so if any of you are reading this, you'll have to ask for an update, but here's a brief one.

Ukraine is beautiful, but very crowded and very hectic. Seems like there are people everywhere and there's lots of walking and metro riding. I can't imagine trying to drive in this place. It's crazy and I wonder if there are even any road laws.

We've been around town a little and seen some interesting sights. We've met some really nice people and gone for dinner a couple of times with them.

I've put some photos of our apartment and also a few of Independence Square for you so see, but none of them do any of it justice. It's breathtaking and simply incredible.

Tomorrow we are going to one of the outer regions to look at a little boy. We really want a little girl, but we kind of had to pick something yesterday when we were at the Adoption Center and were a little hard pressed to find any kids who weren't seriously ill. So, we'll go and have a look, but I'm not counting on much. But who knows? We'll see tomorrow.

Well, here are the pictures I was talking about. Have a look. We'll update in the next day or two to let everyone know what's going on here. Miss you all.

PS - Well, it looks like the internet link won't allow me to post pictures here for some reason. Next e-mail we will include photos. Till then . . .

A Quick Note from Independant Square

2005-09-26T09:09:00.000-04:00

Well, we're in Ukraine in Idependant Square. What a place! It's been an adventure already. We were met at the airport by a guy who couldn't speak english and taken to our apartment, which is quite nice and not far from the adoption center. We were without contact with ANYONE until today, when we called a couple we were in contactr with on the net. They found us and pretty much saved our lives, I think. We finally got in touch with our facilitator, who is going to meet us here and we can finally figure out what we are doing.

Well, must run. Sorry it's so quick. I promise the next entry will be more exciting. Til then . . .

And awayyyyyyyy we go . . .

2005-09-24T07:43:00.000-04:00

Well, folks, this is the big day. As I type this up, it is 7:30 in the morning. Stacy is still sleeping (she took a sedative last night, knowing full well she wouldn't be able to sleep otherwise). The bags are packed and ready to go. We have copies of everything we need, our passports, visas, etc. The animals are taken care of. The housesitter is coming this afternoon. The kitchen is clean, the livingroom tidy and Cassie's room is ready for her to come home. So I have nothing to say here, really, except thank you all for all your support. What an exciting event in our lives. We simply ask that you keep us in your prayers; a safe journey, a healthy child and a wonderful new life for everyone. God bless.

Keep checking here. One day in the not too distant future you just may catch a glimpse of your new granddaughter (or son, who knows?)/cousin/neice (or nephew)/best friend. Keep in mind that if God has a little boy in mind for us, you very well may be summoned to barrage our house with buckets of blue paint and tiny little overalls to change the teddy bears that are presently wearing little pink dresses.

We'll see you all soon. Love forever.

Ken and Stacy

It Won't Be Long Soon

2005-09-21T23:13:00.000-04:00

Well, it's only two more days to be spent here in Canada and then we will finally be off. I must say, it's been a very interesting experience, to say the least. Up until now the entire process has seemed almost sterile as we meandered through police checks and medicals, dossiers and visas. But all of that was terribly impersonal and almost technical and detached. Now, however, we are just about ready to get on an airplane and fly half way around the world. It's really hard to believe. Only now are things really beginning to feel like this is really happening.

It's a strange sensation, really. It's obviously incredibly exciting, but it's also a little scary, slightly intimidating and a host of other emotions that are actually difficult to pinpoint. It's hard to explain. It's emotional, to be sure. Our nights are becoming less restful as anticipation keeps us up talking or planning or dreaming of Christmases to come and birthdays and Halloweens . . . it's just a massive swirl of emotions and each one of them is more thrilling than the last.

Our bags have been packed, repacked and packed again as we try to minimize the amount we will be bringing with us. We've opted to forgo things like snack crackers and dry noodles as we have been informed by a couple currently in Ukraine that these items are plentiful and affordable. Things like granola bars and power bars are not so easy to come by, however, so we'll still be bringing a few snacky-type things. We've been told to make sure we bring very comfortable shoes and also wash clothes, as there will be plenty of walking and while towels are plentiful, wash clothes are a rarity for some reason. Another thing we've learned is that we must bring a sink stopper. Apparently it's very uncommon to find one as the Russian people have a sort of tradition, I suppose, of washing under free-flowing water as it's believed to be more sanitary. Whoda thunk?

We bought a Russian phrase book to bring with us but Dmitri says that if we don't actually get the dialect down, we'll pretty much butcher the language. Still, it'll be helpful to know how to say "Where is the toilet?" and "How much for a Big Mac?" when the time comes. The book also has interesting rules of etiquette - things we would never have known otherwise. One is that it is considered bad luck to shake hands across a threshold. One must enter a room or home before shaking - and remember to remove one's shoes. Also, we have to be careful if we are in someone's home that we don't comment too much on, say, a nice lamp. It's entirely possible that the lamp will be ofered as a gift and it's rude to refuse. It's also customary to bring gifts to a host if invited to a home - something for everyone, such as chocolates or flowers and small toys for the kids. The big one, however, which I find amusing but incredibly grateful to know, is that it's not a good idea to play "Gotcher Nose" with the kids. Turns out the hand gesture of a thumb through the first and second fingers is equal to flipping the bird and thus incredibly rude. Imagine waving that finger at a little kid and giggling like a lunatic, thinking you're being cute. Probably not a good idea.

Well, we've begun to say our goodbyes and everyone seems happy for us. We're getting lots of advice already and I'm sure it won't be the last we get as we venture through this thing called parenthood. We had a nice dinner last Friday at Karolina's in Hamilton with Stacy's family; Alf and Di, John, Sue, Megan and Luke, plus all her sisters, their husbands and their kids. We ate too much but boy was it good. Then we went to dinner the next night at Mandarin with my family; Gail and Arthur, Gramma Audrey and Roy, plus my brother, Steve, and his wife and kids. Again, we ate too much, but it was also good, though I, myself, am not a great advocate of all-you-can-eat Chinese food. Too filling and I don't eat enough to make it worth the money it costs. But it was pretty good and everyone had a nice time. We went back to Gramma and Roy's afterwords and had a nice visit before heading home.

Since then we've been to the bank, retrieved our dry cleaning and hemming, started to get the house ready for Jessie, our house-sitter, who has been gracious enough to live at our house for an infinite amount of time until our return.

One last thing before I close this post . . . Tonight we were presented with a very special gift for Cassie. Megan and Luke, Stacy's young cousins (and my young cousins-in-law, I guess), gave us a beautiful little teddy bear to bring to Cassie. They picked her out at a Build-A-Bear shop and selected a pretty pink dress and matching booties and bow. It's so soft and cuddly, I may just keep it for myself. Well, maybe not, but I'm sure that bear will gets lots of love in a very short amount of time. I'll post a little picture of the bear, aptly named Cassarina, that was created with a lot of fur, a lot of stuffing and a lot, lot, LOT of love.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I don't know if I'll get another post in before we leave, so the next thing you read may well have been written from the opposite side of the globe. Till then . . .

Stuffed with Love from Luke and Megan

Nine More Sleeps . . .

2005-09-15T09:52:00.000-04:00

Well, as we finish up our last full week here in Canada we think we are pretty much prepared for our trip. Our bags are packed, although we have a few things to take to the dry cleaners and I have a jacket to get shortened in the sleeves. One large suitcase - the kind with the little handle and wheels - is literally jam-packed with things like toilet paper and paper towel, peanut butter and crackers, toiletries, snacks for Cassie (and ourselves, who are we kidding). He also have to think of bringing items such as a can openinr, a small travel iron, a coffee cup warmer instead of trying to boil a kettle (which we may or may not have at our disposal). It's amazing the things we have to consider that we take for granted here. The big item, as already mentioned, is toilet paper. We have been told again and again that, under no circumstances, are we to travel without it. It's like the old American Express ads - Don't Leave Home Without It! Apparently over there, the toilet tissue is like that industrial strength, brown paper towel you sometimes find in public washrooms. Imagine six weeks of using THAT on your dainty bits! No thanks. We've also been told that there may be instances where there is a decided lack of TP altogether - one woman we spoke with told us a story of how she was in one of the tiny villages where the orphanage was. They had to stop at a gas station so she could use the washroom and was directed to a little shanty off the back of the building. Inside she found a dirt floor, a shovel and a stack of rough paper and old magazine pages. UGH! So, they want us to bring toilet paper? We bring toilet paper!

Everything is getting very exciting for us now. It's a little stressful and I'm not a big fan of flying, but if God has a purpose for us with a little girl in Ukraine, all will be fine. We just have to keep our faith with us throughout the entire trip and try to remember that there is a reason for everything that has - and will - happen.

Right now in Ukraine there is a delay in the courts as the President has decided to shake things up on a governmental level to combat cries of corruption. They plan to implement a few new rules to court proceedings, such as either video cameras or a jury of lay people. They don't know what they will do as of yet and things are a little slow in that area. I figure we have a little over a month before we have to worry about it, though. In the meantime, we will still travel and meet our daughter and no matter what it takes, or how long, we will not return without her.

We'll do a little sight-seeing while in Kiev and stay tuned for some pictures. I also plan to post a few "Before" shots here as we prepare to go, at the airport, etc.

Stacy and I are incredibly excited, as you may have guessed, and simply cannot wait to face the challenges and rewards of becoming parents. We'd like to thank everyone who has offered us nothing but support and encouragement as we worked through all of our delays, red tape issues and everything else that we have done to get to where we stand this very moment. So thanks everyone. We love you all very much and can't wait for you to meet Cassie.

Until next time . . .

Some friends (considered family)

2005-09-01T17:04:00.000-04:00

Our great friends, John and Jennifer Friesen, have been visiting us from Manitoba as we prepare ourselves for our new life. They have been nothing but supportive of everything we have been doing and they are very, very special people. They have graciously accepted our request that they perform the role of God Parents to Cassie and it is our honour to have them. What follows are a few photos of all of us together, basking in warmth, sunshine and friendship. You may also see a few pictures of JOhn, Jen, Stacy and I in various states of seriousness and/or silliness as we enjoy a beautiful day at Niagara Falls.

Here's John, Jen and I pretending to be...weird.

John and Jen are both standing on the ground.

We can't wait to get Cassie home so she can share these wonders of life with us; Nature, friendship, love, togetherness and the absolute beauty that is life - to be celebrated every day.

Cassie's Room

2005-09-01T16:58:00.000-04:00

Here's a few pictures of Cassie's room. It's hard to get the right angle but it's a pretty little room, two shades of pink, with Precious Moments on the walls and as accent decals. I hope she likes it.

A little about our plans

2005-08-29T07:32:00.000-04:00

As you may or may not know, our trip is now only 26 days away. Less than a month. We have to prepare to go in fairly short order now, but all the major issues have been addressed. Our flights are booked, as far as we know our accomodations are taken care of in Kiev, but we'll have to call our Adoption facilitator, Dmitri, so we know for sure. When we get into Kiev, we are to meet our liason, whose name is Sasha. He comes highly recommended and we look forward to meeting him. Sasha will basically be our interperetor for the duration of our visit. We happen to know that he has helped other families manage to waive the 30 day waiting period that is imposed on all court decisions and thus allow families to return home together that much sooner. We are hoping and praying that he can do something similar for us.

I don't know if I mentioned this earlier, but the 30 day waiting period is something we'd like to avoid. Apparently, after every legal ruling in Ukraine, there is a 30 day appeal time, where both parties are given an opportunity to ammend or withdraw from whatever leglities they have been involved with. This is a formality that will bestowed on us unless we are fortunate enough to have a judge who will kinldy allow us to forgo the waiting period and simply return home. If that happens, e will probably be home around the 19th of OCtober or sometime around there. If we do have to wait, we will wait in Ukraine, which means we probably won't actually be home until mid November. This is fine with us, but of course, given a choice, we'd certainly like to come home sooner than later.

Anyway, in preparation for the trip there are a number of things we take for granted that must be considered. One of the biggies is toilet paper. We have been told on numerous occassions that toilet paper is somewhat of a rarity and when one does find it, it tends to be pretty rough - like the coarse brown paper towel in public washrooms here. Imagine a month and a half of that! So, we're gonna squeeze the Charmine all the way to Europe and back. Also we'll have to bring thngs like diapers and baby wipes, some jars of baby food, a few toys and outfits. We don't know how old or how big she's going to be so it'll be difficult to guage just what to bring with us. Therefore we'll have to bring a few things in different sizes and make some purchases there. Of course we'll also buy some Ukrainian items, artifacts, souvinires, etc. to bring home as well for her. Also, we have been told that we should bring large zip-lock bags - you can actually get ones made for clothing and so on. Not only can you sorta vaccuum seal them to compress them, but when we come home we'll bring some of her clothes or a blanket or something from the orphanage and keep in preserved in there. This will help keep the scent of the orphanage intact as well as keep the items safe during transport - shampoo bottle tend to rupture from time to time. It's important to keep these things in as close a condition as they are when we take them from the orphanage as we can. There needs to be a sense of familiarity for her when she comes home. She'll be in a strange home, in a strange bed with strange people. I can't imagine how frightening that will be for her. A little bit of "home" to snuggle up with might help the transition just a little bit.

Oh, I almost forgot to explaine her name. At this point, we don't actually know her birth name. It will probably be something like Alana or similar - common names over there. While this is a beautiful name, some of them are much different than we are used to. As you know, we'll be calling her Cassie. When we were in the Bahamas the first year, we saw a gorgeous tree that looked kind of like a pine tree. It had long, long, very delicate needles whoch almost felt soft, they were so fine. The tree is called a Cassaurina (or something like that, I'm not sure of the spelling) and it sounded beautiful. So we decided that our first daughter would be named Cassarina - Cassie for short. Her birth name, then, will become her middle name in an effort to further preserve her Ukrainian identity.

Well, I think that's all for today. I'll be posting pictures of her bedroom very shortly. Hope you come back to have a peek. Til then . . .

2005-08-26T14:03:00.000-04:00

Milo and Abby
This is just a little test to see if I posted pictures properly. Wish me luck. If you can't read this or it doesn't appear on your screen, please let me know. ;)

A Little Info

2005-08-26T12:05:00.000-04:00

Well, it occurred to me that not all of you may be as up to date as you might be with all of this, so we'll see if we can't fix that.

In July of 2004, Stacy and I began the adoption process through Canadian International Adoption Services in Toronto. It was a fairly extensive process, beginning with a series of interviews with a social worker named Louise Dellio. She's a lovely woman who quickly put us at ease as we went through four different interviews. First she met with both Stacy and I at her home, then with each of us individually. We went through an extensive list of questions that ran from the names of our parents to how we were disciplined as children. We answered honestly and all was fine. The final interview was in our home and it was fine as well, although we forgot to remove a large Batman blow up that was hanging in the livingroom. She found this humourous, however, and all was fine. A short time later, we received a large document saying that she approved us for an adoption.

We then had to submit all of this documentation to the agency, who processed it for us. It took a long time and we missed the adoption time of April, as we had originally been hopeful to go to Ukraine in the spring. Of course, there are always mix ups and stumbling blocks. We had to have several tests done to determine that we were in good health as well as both local and global police checks. Again, all was fine, but because the Home Study process took longer than we thought, we missed the April goal and were looking at July. Yet again, however, things got mixed up and we had to re-do our police checks and medicals since they had expired before we got to go away. Then, due to my wonderful organizational skills, I managed to misplace my police check so we had to go and get yet another copy of it. Finally, all the paperwork was in order and it was all sent off to be processed. Finally, our Visa were secure, we were cleared to travel and a date was set for September 28th, 2005. It was a little depressing as we had still hoped to travel in summer but God has a child for us and He knows when to send us to get her.

Now we have only a little more than a month to get ready to travel to Ukraine. We will leave on September 24th from Toronto, where we will fly to Budapest, Hungary. From Hungary we will fly into Kiev and our initial meeting will be held on the 28th of September.

Cassie's room is finished and has been since last Christmas. As soon as I figure out how to post pictures here, I'll show them to you all. It's a pretty pink room with a Precious Moments motif.

Well, that's about it in a nut shell. As we think of things worth commenting on we will do so. Until then, keep popping in. You never know what you'll find here.

Welcome

2005-08-26T10:46:00.000-04:00

Hi there. Welcome to Cassie's Journey. Here we hope to keep everyone involved in the process of our adoption as we quickly approach our trip to Ukraine, where we will finally meet our precious daughter. We invite you all to check in periodically to see our progress. We'll be posting photos as we prepare our trip, the time we spend in Ukraine and of course, pictures of Cassie (when that time finally comes). Please feel free to post your own comments, quirks, silly stories, words of encouragement, advice, notes to Cassie and anything else you wish to contribute. It's been a long, stressful year but we've finally hit the home stretch. There have been set backs, disappointments and paper work snafus but we've finally cleared the final hurdles. All that remains is the trip itself and we can't wait. We hope you will enjoy this as much as we do. So come along, won't you, and join us as we take the final steps of Cassie's Journey.